Bryan Clark shares The Work: Getting cut off in traffic (“He Doesn’t Respect Me”), the most common mistakes in The Work, common roadblocks, and who its not for

Ever get cut off in traffic and get lost in the thought “He doesn’t respect me!”?  This video is for you, plus it covers much more.


In this interview, my friend and colleague Byran Clark discusses The Work of Byron Katie. Bryan is one of the most articulate people I’ve met around the mechanics and mindset of The Work. The interview covers:

  1. How The Work addresses the cause and effect of a situation.
  2. How your thoughts aren’t who or what you are, but what are happening to you.
  3. The “motor mind”
  4. Defining the Work: “IQ+L” (‘L’ being Bryan’s “3rd step” of The Work)
    1. Identify a stressful thought
    2. Question your stressful thought
    3. Live out/test out the discoveries in real life
  5. How to make The Work meditative: Go into the snapshot of the situation
  6. “He doesn’t respect me” – doing The Work when a car cuts you off in traffic
    1. Question 3: Observing the behaviour patterns
    2. Question 4: notice the before and after
      1. People say, “They can’t imagine that”, yet imagine a whole world of terror with the thought (answers to question 3).
  7. How The Work is different from ‘positive thinking’
  8. How the Turnarounds are not necessarily “Shoulds”
  9. The Work is not for people who want the ‘scenic route’ to find peace.
  10. The Ego
    1. How focusing on the snapshot of the situation pins down the ego.
    2. The Judge-Your-Neighbour worksheet harvests the belief system…a “thought recorder”.
    3. Being non-specific with the situation gives the ego a back door to escape.
    4. How the ego becomes your friend over time because it reveals the missing pieces.
  11. Most common mistakes for The Work
    1. Too much effort into finding the stressful thoughts as opposed to just Katie’s suggestion to “listen, wait, & receive”…and record your thoughts from that space.
    2. Changing the Turnarounds into a completely different direction than just one or two words.
    3. People believing they have to say “no” to questions 1 or 2.
    4. Trying to explain, rationalise, or justify their “yes” or “no”.
      1. The Work is an ‘on/off’ switch…you are either answering the questions or you are not.
  12. Most common roadblocks
    1. Not being still enough with Question 4: just ask, wait, and receive.
    2. Interesting how people have trouble imagining life without the stressful thought (question 4) though they have this entire nightmare in their imagination when they believe the stressful thought (question 3)…so their imagination does work.
    3. Not being specific enough in Question 4 with examples of who you would be without the thought.
    4. Treating the Turnarounds as a school assignment to get everything right.
      1. trying to get the Turnarounds ‘right’ versus having the curiosity of a child.
      2. Ego being closed down and resistant to the Turnarounds…focused on being right.
  13. Discussing Katie’s and Eckharte Tolle’s awakening experiences.
  14. Who The Work is NOT for:
    1. People who want to be right
    2. People who want to hold their position.
    3. People who don’t want to let go of the ego’s attachment to safety, comfort, or pleasure.
  15. Parting advice
    1. Be playful with the first few worksheets. Don’t worry about getting it right.
    2. Don’t necessarily pick the most stressful situation of your life first, but pick a situation that you get a very clear picture of that annoys you.
  16. About Bryan’s clients he usually works with:
    1. Solopreneurs and entrepreneurs who want to make the world a better place, helping them create better client experiences for them. (www.clientexperienceblueprint.com)
    2. Relationships, couples, and communication: www.radicalawareness.com
  17. Bryan Clark’s website:
    1. Main website: www.friendly-universe.com
    2. www.clientexperienceblueprint.com
    3. www.radicalawareness.com

If you want more support for The Work, consider The Work Online Course.

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